


The Long Road

by MsLanna



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: F/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-13
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:47:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21783922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsLanna/pseuds/MsLanna
Summary: And here she was, smitten with the most inconvenient of infatuations for one of the most inconvenient people she worked with. If Sara had had her senses about her, she would have gone for Jaal who, unlike Evfra, was kind, competent, on her ship and possibly even interestedAn Evfra/Sara romance in self-contained ficlets. I can't promise plot or even updates. I just love this ship and want to make it happen.I'll edit the tags as I go along. Not sure how this will turn out.
Relationships: Evfra de Tershaav/Female Ryder | Sara
Comments: 5
Kudos: 22





	The Long Road

_You shouldn't be thinking his name with such longing. You shouldn't be thinking his name with such longing. You shouldn't be thinking his name with such longing. You shouldn't be thinking his name with such longing._

It was a mantra Sara had been saying to herself over and over for the last days. It didn't help. She put a foot down on Havarl and the birthplace of the Angara brought his name singing though her thoughts like silver. She tried to cool down on Voeld, the Resistance hailed his name.

Even the burning sands of Elaaden were no respite. The krogan were fighters. As such the name of such a successful commander had found its way there. Sara bounced her forehead off her desk. Where had she gotten her taste for military types anyway?

The display of her interface blinked out. Sara closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Just don't! She scolded herself. But her hands that had been idle on the desk, framing her bouncing head, were already moving. A moment later, the display came back to life. The dark blue background lit up her quarters dimly. It was the only source of light.

Resting her cheek on her other hand, Sara peered at the screen. The darker background outlining the message, the letters, shining in a light blue, almost white. And those bloody words burned into her mind as if she had stared into the sun for an hour.

_exactly what I would have done_

She felt guilty for the death of the AI. What was one angaran life compared to the vast knowledge the AI had? Yes, the man was grateful and so was his family. Was it worth the price? But she had chosen, in a heartbeat without notice, Sara Ryder had chose the life of one angaran over the possibilities of an AI.

What if it had been SAM? Sara traced the letters on the screen with a finger. It had not been SAM. It was also done and over. There was no way to undo her choice. Any reconsideration was purely hypothetical. And anyway, should his words help?

They did not. Instead, guilt ate her up from inside. What if it had been nothing but the unconscious desire to please him? Unconscious, her ass. There was barely an hour she got by without his name crossing her thoughts. What if that had been her reason?

Who am I if I change like that for the approval of one person?

Sara didn't like the question. She didn't like the implications. She didn't like to think about it one bit, because thinking about Evfra de Tershaav never led to anything but more thinking about Evfra de Tershaav.

He shouldn't be sending her messages. Yeah. He really should not. Who was she that the leader of the angaran resistance would want to mail her? Sara returned to bouncing her forehead against her desk. The blood Pathfinder, that's who she was. No. That's what she was. Not a who, a what. Something to remember. Evfra de Tershaav would never write to Sara Ryder, dork from the Milky Way.

Somehow that didn't make things better. Nothing ever made things better in respect to that idiot. Not even meeting him face-to-face made things better. Though Evfra was less abrasive these days. The Initiative was obviously proving it's worth as an ally. And that meant tolerating her as go-between.

And here she was, smitten with the most inconvenient of infatuations for one of the most inconvenient people she worked with. If she had had her sense about her, she would have gone for Jaal. He was kind, he was competent, he was on her ship and possibly even interested. Also, he was a very nice shade of purple.

With a sigh, Sara activated the display again. It fell dark every five minutes. She had activated it many more times than she was ready to admit. Maybe she should reply. Of course she should reply. The Pathfinder of the Andromeda Initiative had to keep good relations with their allies. There was no question, she was deeply invested in this.

But Sara had no idea what to write. What she was allowed to say sounded trite and looked borderline offensive. What she wanted to say would get her reprimanded, exiled, and x-rated, not necessarily in that order. And then somebody else would become Pathfinder. And somebody else would get mails from Evfra.

It reeked with approval. Coming from Evfra, it was positively dripping with it. The leader of the angaran resistance was so closed in on himself, it would take a major miracle for him to open up. At all. It was nothing Sara had spent hours deliberating. It would be such a sight. Not that she had ever considered how to maybe, possibly bring it about. She'd just wipe the kett from Heleus. He'd like that. Give him something to be happy about.

The message danced before her eyes. She definitely had to write up a reply. But it was so hard. So many words and such a narrow corridor of allowed ones.

_Dear Evfra_

That was how you started messages, wasn't it? How could she ever reply then, with that opening, when she could not use the last words he definitely had not aimed for. But her heart had its own ideas, and Evfra's words were just one small word off what she wanted to hear, what she wanted to say.

His whole family had been taken by the kett. Sara could not imagine Evfra making himself vulnerable to that pain again. Not as long as the kett ruled Heleus. And if she put that down as step one, she would even meet duties as Pathfinder.

Sitting up, Sara turned of the screen. Her quarters plunged into darkness, broken only by the pin-pricks of stars outside the viewport. She would reply to the message tomorrow. She would do absolutely everything tomorrow. But for tonight, she would lie down and try to sleep, to full of emotions, and too empty of hope.

Tomorrow was another day. It might have the same troubles as this one, but it _was_ another day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The mail from Evfra...  
> [](https://imgur.com/tFTGUeN)


End file.
